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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Offended or not?

I have no qualms that my status as jiejie(sister) will immediately be elevated to "auntie" once I got married. It's not just in the looks ya see......but I noticed that many parents have no idea what is best for their kids to address me. First it is because I "look" like a jiejie but I AM an Aunty because I'm married.

I have no problem having people calling me aunty (so far thank goodness only those below age 10 calls me that, with the exception of my REAL nephews and nieces whom are like over 20 now! heh). I feel honored for the status upgrade, no doubt.

But one thing that I'm uncomfortable with is during situations when both me + SIL are together.

SIL is not married, but is pretty Old already la. Then when the parents asked their children to address me as Aunty....and then when they address SIL oh they immediately ask the children to call her "jiejie" and chided them if they call her aunty.....they always say "oh....this wan is jiejie.....not married yet cannot call aunty" Normally because they don't want the old spinster to feel offended la.... ughh.... yucks..... who the hell is the one who started this nonsense of a de-facto?? I mean. She is SO OLD that when we went shopping together the salesgirl thought that she is MY mother!!!! much to her horror......but to my delight.....*smirk smirk*
Don't want to offend them you say?? well halloooo?? who's offended here having your kids calling the next person who is like almost 2 decades older than you JieJie and You - Aunty??!!! Oh and not forgetting that the OLD spinster is probably OLDER than herself-The Mother.

Anyway coming back to the defacto...I mean,are you sure that we are suppose to call those unmarried ladies jiejie untill they are all wrinkles and crinkles? If an old pohpoh (grandma) is 70 and still not married, do we still call her jiejie or Aunty or Pohpoh?? Or all OLD spinster are to jump from jiejie status to Pohpoh status without ever being Aunty status because Aunty is for the married??

I think the socio-de-facto standard is rubbish. Those cross 30 should deal with the fact that they are no longer in the brim of their youth. They have crossed over.

I feel that anyone that is above 30 should automatically become aunty irregardles. Period. And in conclusion, you can still call me Jiejie. ThankewSpankew.

7 comments:

Twisted Heels said...

You sound offended :)

My family never had such rules with spinsters. As long as you look:

Young = jie jie
Middle age = auntie
Elderly = pohpoh

Call aunty, cukup. If they don't like it, then it's their problem! Not like we could be young forever anyway.

desiderata said...

Hey Theels: I like your attitude.
FAshionistA: hi FA muimui (I don't no your age, neither am I asking!) -- you gave me permit! So use-lah, like AP, or as Theels says: Go by looks, you're my muimui, NIOT even jie-jie!
DO I get an XXtra large angpow, coming CNY? No lah, Kelantan orang alsi, cannot pollute them, they are SO PURE; Desi likes some knottiness in his Angels:) Can fry wan!

Helen said...

Boo Hoo yours is not a bad day!! (and I thot I came here becos someone is equally miserable... :-P) At least nobody mistaken u for your SIL's 'jie jie'...lol

The issue of addressing someone is really hard. Is there a certain rule to go by?? In that case, we won't have 80 yr old jie jie and 20 yrs old aunties.... lol

I always believe if you're not sure, it's always safe to address the other party Mr or Miss. That is why I'm soooo loved by ppl. I dun even call my fren's father 'uncle.' I call them Mr so and so.... BTW, those sales/marketing peeps better start trainning their stupid sales person how to address properly...

Laksa said...

I totally agree with Twisted Heels - it all boils down to perception!

But i still prefer the Western practice of addressing people by their names.

If i were a middle aged guy, i wouldn't want formalities to get in the way by addressing me as sir or uncle. just call me by my name, makes it more casual and personal :)

Otto said...

I have a similar concept as Helen's. I address most people as "Ms So And So" and "Mr So And So". Friends included. It has become a pet name of somesort, I think.

It has a desirable effect as most people are pleasantly surprised and happy to be addressed with a "Ms" or a "Mr".

As for PY, I tease her constantly calling her "Aunty PY" and she is return now calls me "Aunty Otto".

All my friends' kids call me "Aunty Otto" and that's fine for me, immaterial of age or marital status.

chloe said...

should 80 year old spinsters be called jie jie? =P

Ianfluenza said...

I thought I was doing well enough by going further addressing people as Sir and Madams...

I ended up being stared at when I addressed a woman in her 30s as Madam...

"It's Ms. XXX to you. I'm not married yet. Okay?"

Fine then!