I'm a goody goody and have always been brought up well mannered and well behaved and all.
Being a Full-time "kwai lui"(good girl) is not easy, but with that said, I'm not denying that the little devil does not exist in me.
Everyone is born with a rebellious nature one way or another, its just a matter of how much you yield to the little voice and how well you are able to take control over your emotions rather than letting it take control of you.
Yesterday I remembered something that triggered my memory of myself while i was a tween. Eventhough I was so very well mannered that i was every mothers dream daughter (serious!!), there were times when i was pretty adamant in my ways and pretty mulish and willful.
I remembered that i used to question why do i have to call my parents "mama" and "papa" while all the "cool" kids in the movies addresses their parents by their first name.
I wanted so much to be cool.
I wanted to feel grown up.
I wanted to call my parents by their first name.
I vividly remembered suggesting to my mother the idea of addressing her by her first name. heh..... Well, of course my proposal wasn't even taken into consideration as my mother threaten to disown my if i ever do so.
(Now, as i have international readers i guess its proper that i elucidate the fact that being the Malaysian or rather Malaysian Chinese that I am. Adults and Children are and can never be equal. Respecting the elderly is a very important expect of being a chinese. Its part of us, its in the blood. Its our nature. Respect is the very key of being truely chinese.)
Today, beeing a grown-up, getting married and perhaps becoming a parent myself in a couple of years time. I finally get it. I understand her so much now. It must have hurt her so much deep inside. Although it may sound trivial to some, but by putting myself in her position.... I felt the prick. I imagined having a little girl of my own and then i imagined her refusing to call me mommy. It struck a cord. How could i do such a thing to mom? I loved her to bits. But then? oh noooo, i wasn't happy at all, i thought i was right, I thought that whats in a name??? Its only a nameeee for crying out loud!! Crazy girl mini-fashionasia she is. Shame on you!!!
Being a Full-time "kwai lui"(good girl) is not easy, but with that said, I'm not denying that the little devil does not exist in me.
Everyone is born with a rebellious nature one way or another, its just a matter of how much you yield to the little voice and how well you are able to take control over your emotions rather than letting it take control of you.
Yesterday I remembered something that triggered my memory of myself while i was a tween. Eventhough I was so very well mannered that i was every mothers dream daughter (serious!!), there were times when i was pretty adamant in my ways and pretty mulish and willful.
I remembered that i used to question why do i have to call my parents "mama" and "papa" while all the "cool" kids in the movies addresses their parents by their first name.
I wanted so much to be cool.
I wanted to feel grown up.
I wanted to call my parents by their first name.
I vividly remembered suggesting to my mother the idea of addressing her by her first name. heh..... Well, of course my proposal wasn't even taken into consideration as my mother threaten to disown my if i ever do so.
(Now, as i have international readers i guess its proper that i elucidate the fact that being the Malaysian or rather Malaysian Chinese that I am. Adults and Children are and can never be equal. Respecting the elderly is a very important expect of being a chinese. Its part of us, its in the blood. Its our nature. Respect is the very key of being truely chinese.)
Today, beeing a grown-up, getting married and perhaps becoming a parent myself in a couple of years time. I finally get it. I understand her so much now. It must have hurt her so much deep inside. Although it may sound trivial to some, but by putting myself in her position.... I felt the prick. I imagined having a little girl of my own and then i imagined her refusing to call me mommy. It struck a cord. How could i do such a thing to mom? I loved her to bits. But then? oh noooo, i wasn't happy at all, i thought i was right, I thought that whats in a name??? Its only a nameeee for crying out loud!! Crazy girl mini-fashionasia she is. Shame on you!!!
5 comments:
So young and thinking of all this... what a waste
What you wrote here struck more than just a chord or two. I believe that many of us share similar experiences as related by you here.
As we grow up, we will become more like our parents and we will realise that we agree with how they've brought us up... at least for most of us.
I was rebellious beyond belief! In my childhood, I had changed more babysitters than both my brothers combined. Banging doors was my form of communication with my parents when I was a teenager.
But ironically as I mature, I find myself understanding my parents and their choices made. I find myself agreeing with their parenting skills and would do the same for my own children, should I have them later in life.
It's all part and parcel of growing up, I guess :)
My newphew 'ran' away from home when he was 7 yrs old. So, so very cute. Got as far as the gate, with a bag with one set of clothings. As for me, I can't think of any.
Well, looking at the other side of the coin, our parents used to be like us so i'm pretty sure they know how we feel...
Everyone of us have our rebellious times I spose tho i dont remember much of my own. Like urself, i had been a very good daugther (as my dad had confessed recently).
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