Search

 

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Will you wait for me?

He came. looking for me.... when i thought he was looking for someone else.
"You're looking for XX ?" i asked....
"No, i came to see you..........so how have u been?" he answered.
I was stunned.

He....The "guy before the fiance".
Thousands of thoughts went through my mind and none of it answered my question..

Why?!!

I hate that 3 letter word. I hate that feeling.....the feeling of having no answers.

He was my best friend. Before he left he asked me "Will you wait for me?". That question sent gazillion questions through my mind too. That time, i was young.....I really dont know if i could wait.....i don't quite understand what he ment......not like we are in a relationship or anything.......i don't know if he would find someone else when he
is so far away.........i don't know if i would find someone else......I tried long distance relationship.....it didnt work......i had my doubts.......is he the one?? he may not be???.......i have so many questions.....i have no answers.........so I answered sheepishly "whatever will be will be....lets just see what will happen". I got back at him at that, i had him leave with that thought left hanging.......
The truth is....i don't know. 4 years is a long time. Truth is....i didn't want him to go.....ironically, i was the one who encouraged him to go for it, get your masters. So clever of me.


Sometimes when i see him now i felt sorry.......i felt so bad......sometimes i still feel the warm fuzzy feeling when he talk to me.....
he is still single. After so long. 7 years long....

Why?....



8 comments:

torment said...

why feel sorry? do u regret not having waited for him?

ah pink said...

Follow your heart.

=)

5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ said...

Wah....tough question. What ah pink said is so right. Follow your heart. Or watch My Best Friend Wedding for like, 10 times?

cyber-red said...

Just take things slow. And you should not EXPECT of so much. It'll take a toll on you when things don't go your way, ok.

Fashionasia said...

Thanks u guys for your thoughts....hugss!!!!
I'm fine.....very much have decided on the fiance. LOL
Just that....ya know sometimes the mind cant stop thinking....why why why??

Sapphire said...

in life...there are always choices...and we will always have to trust our instinct and hope for the best. heck, i can't even decide on a simple thing like which pie to choose when faced with an array of over 15 choices today! so i guess in life it is all the same...just tt we need to stick with our choices and not keep harpin on the "what-ifs" yeah.

Fashionasia said...

thanks sapphire for sharing your thoughts. I will stick to my choice. ;)

S-Kay said...

Naz is thinking of taking his Masters....I wonder if we'll survive the rship if he goes away..I mean...I would really want him to be here when I graduate and when I get my first job...he can go after that..but part of me wants to encourage him to go get his Masters...sigh.....it's so hard...I mean....who knows, maybe there'll be someone else there or something but I guess, if we're not meant to be then we're not meant to be.....summore his old ahemz almost gf is there in Aussie..that kinda suck...gosh...I'm such a typical GIRL